2 Months Post Op, A Thanksgiving

I cannot believe it's been 2 months since I had gender reassignment surgery (GRS) with Dr. Brassard in Montreal.  Actually, it has been 62 days as of today and 9 weeks tomorrow.  Quite a lot has happened since my last update, at 6 weeks post op.

I'm now walking both of my dogs at the same time, which means that except for rainy days (like today) I have 2 helpers making sure I get out and get some daily exercise.  I haven't been getting enough exercise though and have been eating way too much (like everything in sight, including boxes of cookies) so I've gained about 8 pounds in the last couple of months.

My nails have been in terrible shape since having to remove the gel before surgery.  Finally I decided it was time to have them done again, so I went back to the nail salon and got shorter gel french tips.  I also got my first pedicure and brow wax since leaving for Montreal and it was great to get back into my maintenance groove.  I've done a lot of eyebrow plucking during this time, but it was really awesome to get them shaped again.

At Exotic Nails in Golden East Mall waiting to have my nails and brows done.

Last week I also got my hair done (or "did", as the saying goes) for the second time since coming home.  As you may recall from one of last month's posts, the last time I went to the hair salon in Raleigh I was with Lisa and Teri.  I was only three weeks post op then and that day and long night out on the town was wayyy to much for me at that time.  I suffered a setback and ended up having to see a doctor in Raleigh for post op care and to treat a condition called granulation that I developed that day.

Leaving Total Hair Salon in Raleigh after getting my root color again, practically a monthly chore.  I've been going to that salon for 2 years now and a couple of the stylists always rave about my hair and how far it's come in that time.

The treatments have been going well (I've had 2 now) and healing continues slowly but surely.  I was a little down after my doctor's appointment last Monday so I didn't post an 8 week update as I had intended.  Not being my surgeon, she couldn't answer a couple of questions I had about my new anatomy.  At one point I was afraid that I didn't have a clitoris! 

I've since gotten the nerve to explore my body a little more and am convinced that everything is alright.  My roommate and surgery sister from Montreal told me that her clitoris isn't prominent either but she is able to achieve orgasm using a vibrator.

Hearing that and wanting relief from my own anxiety I decided to get out my own small vibrator and take some time to explore myself before and during my afternoon dilation yesterday.  Let's just say that I got relief from more than my anxiety.  Wow, just wow!

Speaking of dilations, last week I finally began using the #4 (orange) dilator.  My schedule now calls for using all three dilators three times a day.  I was two weeks behind schedule starting this regimen, that will last two months.  At that point I will be blessed with only having to dilate twice a day, so a more normal life can resume.  You can see this schedule and have access to all the other information I was given in my last post, The Vagina Manual.

My dilators.  I am now using all three, 3 times a day.

Overall, I had to say that my post op pain is down.  It's not quite gone but it is way down.  Some report not having any pain after leaving the hospital but I have to admit to being extremely sensitive to pain, especially "down there."  Any twinge of pain is magnified in my mind and can also cause worry and anxiety. 

Next Monday I will see my post op doctor in Raleigh again.  In the last 24 hours I've gone from planning to tell her how worried I was about myself, to feeling very good about my healing and situation.  I just have to hit myself on the head every so often and remind myself that this is a slow process.  Sometimes (most of the time) I want recovery to be over and be 100% right now.  That's just not how it works.

I still worry about some things and questions always come up, so I will keep seeing my doctor and sending off emails to the nursing staff in Montreal.  I am waiting for a response to my latest email now.  Everything always seem to be okay, but I just need that reassurance.

With pain down and my energy level up, I am starting to resume more of my regular activities.  I'm not having to lie around all the time like I did after the granulation first started.  I'm staying home a lot but am able to sit for longer periods without discomfort.

I'm still having to deal with a little spotty blood about half the times that I dilate.  I think it's due to using the large dilator and still having granulation.  I find very little (usually none) on my panty liners when I go out.  Soon, maybe soon (hopefully soon) the blood will stop appearing.

Out to eat at Chili's in Rocky Mount with Mitchell last weekend.  When he isn't here I am so lonely and bored, but when he comes home from work on the weekends I am alive.

With American Thanksgiving upon us, I realize that I have a Lot to be thankful for this year.  I have 2 dogs that love me unconditionally, and (more importantly) two wonderful humans that also love me unconditionally.  We are a small family but they accept me just as I am and I know how fortunate I am to have Mama and Mitchell in my life. 

I'm also really, really fortunate that this year I was able to achieve my dream.  I was able to achieve womanhood, if you will.  My body and mind now match as well as they possibly can, which is pretty fine by me.  I feel more normal than I ever have and I'm feeling a lot more confident too, in some ways I didn't expect.  Soon, I will have to expand more on that thought.

I also want to thank all of You for reading my blog and following my journey.  Hearing from all the people that have gained inspiration or knowledge from reading this blog is a Big inspiration to me to.  I have a Lot more of my story to tell, so please stay tuned. 

And Thank You!